...and now, a word from our sponsors

Are you stuck in the awkward situation of being pregnant?

Are you worried about your baby getting hurt?

Do you question whether or not you should baby-proof your home?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, have no fear -  we are here for you!

If you're contemplating buying gates - we will demonstrate you should!
If you're pondering, "How can my child possibly get hurt via <insert object>" - we will show you how!

INTRODUCING: Hannah’s Baby-Proofing tool-kit.

Hannah’s Baby-Proofing tool-kit includes the following:

• Crayons, Markers, Today’s mail, Magazines, Cat/dog food, Tree ornaments, Toilet paper, Kitchen table, Coffee table, Make-up, Toothpaste, Bath bubbles, Shampoo, Vases, Eye glasses, Cups, Plates, Cutlery, Silverware, Scissors, Candles, Matches, Lighters, CD’s/DVD’s, Digital Camera…and much, much more.
• Hannah

For a reasonable price of only $1,567, the Hannah Baby-Proofing tool-kit can be all yours! This, one-of-a-kind, kit has been thoroughly tested every day for the past 21 months. It has proven to be successful 100% of the time.

Imagine – a worry free home? After using our tool-kit you will be able to do the following with only very little hesitation:

• Use the bathroom
• Take a shower
• Make breakfast
• Clean
• Drink water
• Walk away
• Blink
• Turn away
• Open the window
• Get dressed
• Brush teeth 

(For your own safety, the safety of your child and your home, please limit the preceding activities to no longer than 3 minutes)

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q. How does this kit work?

A. We bring the kit directly to you! The items included in the kit are strategically placed around your home and we let Hannah loose. We then watch.

Q. How long does it take?

A. Anywhere from 5 -40 minutes; depending on destruction mode.

Q. Can I use my own items?

A. Absolutely, a discount of 20% will be provided to those wanting Hannah to destroy their personal items NOT included in the kit.

Q. I have a pet, will the kit still work?

A. Yes and No. Our kit is flexible and has the ability to adjust to multiple environments. However, the kit is capable of harming the animal.

Call today – don’t delay! We are experts at what we do!

WARNING: This kit may not be suitable for everyone. Loss of personal and valuable items, pets, and sanity may occur. Possible side-effects: hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, eye-twitches, muscle spasms, depression, suicidal thoughts, seizures, and aneurysms. Please talk to your significant other in order to decide if Hannah’s Baby-Proofing kit is right for you.  

*Upgrades are necessary every month.