About a week ago, while I was working on yet another paper on why our education system is creating imbeciles, my husband and daughter were flying paper airplanes across the living room. Suddenly, an airplane crashed into my laptop and interrupted my train-wreck of a thought. After yelling something, surely profane, I decided to be a team-player and throw the airplane back to them; but as I lifted this particular airplane, I quickly noticed something was very wrong with it.
Now, from what I remember, paper airplanes look like this:
This airplane looked like this:
Strange, I know. Being of an inquisitive nature, I demanded an explanation for this abomination of the classic paper plane.
Me: “Ummn, what’s up with this stupid airplane?” (this really is how I speak, no eloquence, really)
Husband: “What’s wrong with it?”
Me: “It looks retarded”
Husband: (I don’t really remember his response, but I assume it was something like, “You’re retarded.”)
Me: “Seriously…” (starting to whine), “explain yourself and this airplane, at once”
Husband: “Well, this way it doesn’t have that pointy tip and our daughter can’t hurt herself.”
Me: “Oh! You’re retarded” (I’m not that great at insults.) Actually, I am, but I was tired and not sure why I just undersold myself. I am fantastic at insults.
Let me explain to you why this whole scenario is strange and worth journaling. My sweet, loving, caring husband, usually says things like:
- “Just let her climb that, if she falls and hurts herself, she won’t do it again.”
- “Just let her eat that, if she has a terrible allergic reaction we’ll know better next time, the hospital isn’t that far.”
- “Whatever, if she wants to mess with the cat let her, she will soon learn cats have sharp parts"
- “Well, if she runs with a pencil, and stabs herself, she’ll know not to do that again.”
I’m sure there are plenty more “fun phrases” I can come up with, but you get the picture. He wants her to experience the harsh realities of the world at 20 months, he believes in her abilities to rationalize and not do something repeatedly if she hurts herself the first time. He thinks toddlers understand causality. Silly husband.
So as you can imagine, I am shocked! He has created a paper plane specifically so our daughter doesn’t hurt herself.
What happened to “So what? If it pokes her in the eye, she’ll learn to throw less like a little girl and more like a man.”
In conclusion: tall things, peanuts, cats, and pencils – all safe for a toddler. Paper planes? - Extremely dangerous.
Action shot:
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